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ExamForce :: Article Archive :: Newsletter Article
 The Cert Times: IT Edition Article Archive
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| Virtually Positive (mostly) (B1N@RY N@T10N (A.J. Axline)) |
So, I'm hanging out with that Architect guy. You know, gray hair, nice suit, incredibly condescending? And, he keeps going on about how our world isn't really real.
"Look, I may not be a fancy-pants architect guy," I told him. "In fact, I got a D- in Drafting 10 in high school. My depth perception is non-Euclidean. But, I gotta tell you, things in this world seem pretty real to me."
"They look real to you, because you are a component of the simulation," the Architect explained with a sigh. "A self-aware component, but a component nonetheless. You see?"
I gave him a look, the kind of look the dog gives you when it sees you and your spouse (or the evening's equivalent) engaged in the act of intercourse.
"Look, it's quite simple," the Architect guy snapped. "Let's say that the Universe is infinite."
"Well, that's obvious, isn't it?" I replied.
"Well then, in an... why is it obvious?"
"What?"
"Why is it obvious that the Universe is infinite?" he asked me.
"Well, you can't see the end, can you?" I said. "Like, duh!"
The Architect scrubbed his face with his hand, and shook it off.
"All right, fine. So, we agree that the Universe is infinite. Now, in an infinite Universe, there are an infinite number of intelligent beings, and those beings will inevitably attempt to create alternative realities, simulations of life and existence. You agree?"
"Let's just say that I agree that I know that I don't know if I should disagree or not," I said assuredly.
He took a moment, and plunged ahead. "Fine then. Now, it goes without saying that in an infinite Universe, eventually the life forms that exist in one of the simulations will become self-actualized enough to create their own simulations, their own alternative realities, all the time thinking that they are the top-level existents. However, because of the scale of the numbers, it is a near mathematical certainty that every life form in the Universe will exist in a simulation, and not in the Prime Universe, for lack of a better term that you would understand."
"Oh, that ship has sailed," I said foxily, nodding and smiling.
"What I Am Saying," he said, "is that one is inexorably driven to the conclusion that you and everyone you know exist within a simulation. And, in point of fact, it's remarkably possible that you and everyone you know exist within a sub-simulation, an alternative reality created by self-aware units that exist in an alternative reality themselves."
"Dude," I said. "Oh, man. That is some kind of messed up tinfoil hat, concrete bunker, secret warehouse, crazy stuff right there that you're talking about."
"Messed up or not," the Architect said with a smirk, "it is the most logical representation of the facts at hand."
"Arrrr, that she be," I said, talking like a pirate for a moment because it's fun. "But, by your own admission, there is a chance that the reality that I and everyone I know inhabit is, in fact, the Prime Universe, and that we simply haven't reached the point of creating simulations sophisticated enough to spawn their own alternative realities yet."
The Architect leaned back in his chair and frowned.
"That's absurd! Given the scope of the--"
"But it's possible," I countered.
"There's no basis for assuming--"
"But it could be the case."
"The odds are so infinitesimal, it's ridiculous to even--"
"But it's not impossible," I said.
He frowned. "Ridiculous to even consider the possibility."
"Hm hmm," I mused.
"Ridiculous. Preposterous!" the Architect snapped.
"He's very life-like," I said.
The Architect furrowed his brow. "What do you mean--" he said, and then froze like a statue.
The door behind me opened, and Vector walked into the chamber.
"I don't know," he said. "I don't think his ears are the right size."
I looked at the frozen Architect's head. "What do you mean?"
"Well, your ears grow throughout your entire lifetime, right?" Vector said. "So, I think his ears need to be bigger."
"How old is he?" I asked.
Vector shrugged. "How old is the Universe?"
"Which one?" I asked.
A.J. Axline lives online at http://www.chaos-jester.ca and probably spends too much time thinking about things like this.
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Posted by
nam on 30/03/2009 08:40 |
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